I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
