Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
