THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
