I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Randomize