it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
