I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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