In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Randomize
