Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
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