I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
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