I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
