The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
