im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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