You just made me feel so damn special
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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