I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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