It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
