Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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