well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
