so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
