I want to stick my p in your. b.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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