Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
