so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
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