Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
