ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
