Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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