Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
