On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
