Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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