So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Randomize
