the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
You pole danced in your parka.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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