Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
