i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
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