Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
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