Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Randomize