My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
