I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
