just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Terrible idea I love it
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
