literally had 100 drinks last night.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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