i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
