I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Randomize
