I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
