Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
