I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
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Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
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Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
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