They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Randomize
