I'm drive I can fine osifer
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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