I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
