but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Randomize
