Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
Duck Duck Cougar?
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Randomize
