your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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