we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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