so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
you would pick up someone in the library
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
