I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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