where am i from again
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
