This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
