Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
There r osticjed everywhere
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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