hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I'm just crazy horny about you
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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