She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
