Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
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