Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
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