We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
