official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
