dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
