I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
he shaved USA in his pubs
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
