This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
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